7 – Chaos and Rosie’s Natural Demise

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This week on the show, TOG starts a

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new project called the Grackleton Gazette and quickly

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gets in over their head at the very

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first event held, a meet-and-greet.

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You're with TOG Chesterfield here on 101.7

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FM The Grack.

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I'm trying to pick up the pieces and

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fix up my life after I lost my

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job and hit rock bottom.

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I'm taking you along as I try new

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things and attempt to get better as I

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embrace life.

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Unlock your life with TOG Chesterfield.

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Welcome to the show.

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Right now, checking watch, it's 501 pm.

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I'll be here with you for your commute

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or while you prepare your dinner or while

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you stare off into the void while you're

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waiting for your dog named Curtis to take

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his evening dump next to a storm drain

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grate.

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Those are sometimes called a catch basin or

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a curb inlet grate, actually.

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Anyway, I'm going to be your guest for

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the evening and take you through the chaos

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that ensued as I started my latest foray

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into life improvement.

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Now this foray involved an event that I

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ran at the Grackleton Community Centre.

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So when we parted ways last show, I

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was starting my new stand-up hobby and

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taking writing classes after, well, my disastrous go

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at the local open mic night at the

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Crow and Cackle.

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I was spending a lot of time writing

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and, well, making this show for all of

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you, of course.

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And those things got me thinking about making

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a show specifically about the people of Grackleton.

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I loved spending time at the community centre

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in these classes and the writers room involved

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a lot of talking with other people.

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So I sat down and I wrote out

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a plan for what I'm now tentatively calling

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the Grackleton Gazette.

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And the first step of this plan was

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to host an event to meet the people

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of Grackleton.

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And I would introduce my new project and

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I would also learn what the people wanted

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the Grackleton Gazette to be.

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So kind of like a survey.

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And from that, I would learn what they

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want, maybe another radio show or maybe something

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like a zine.

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I planned to interview them to gather some

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of their stories too about living and working

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in our town.

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And I would share this on the first

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show or in the first publication.

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And I was really lucky that my latest

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roommate, Chip Crust, he wanted to help too.

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Oh, I heard that you have an event.

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I could help you with that.

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Oh, I've got nothing to do today.

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Oh, oh, okay.

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I'm Chip Crust.

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Oh, I remember.

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Your roommate?

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Yeah, no, I remember you, Chip.

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No, that would be great if you're okay

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with helping me.

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If you have nothing else, that'd be nice.

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I'm really good at moving the chairs around

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and making a place look really nice.

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You might not notice it by my room,

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but other people's places, I do a lot

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of work.

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And I make them look nice.

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Oh, well, I'd like the place to look

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nice.

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Actually, Tog, I was meaning to ask you,

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did you, did you have a cat?

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Oh, I did have a cat, actually.

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How did, how did you know it's a

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tuxedo cat?

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Well, I saw the pattern on the floor

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that I guessed was a cat dish.

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Yeah.

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It just is sort of a worn pattern

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on the floor that resembles cat dishes and

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is about the same size profile as a

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cat dish.

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And I was like, Oh, I think Tog

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might have, might have had a cat there.

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Was your, was your cat's name Kevin?

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Yeah, yeah.

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Well, how did you know that?

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Yeah.

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So I started planning a Meet the Gazette

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event at the Community Centre with Chip Crust.

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I put in an ad in the local

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paper inviting everyone to contribute to the new

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project at this event by answering some questions

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about their life here in Grackleton.

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I went a bit overboard with the food,

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though.

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I made 15 new flavours of themed vegan

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jerky that represented all of our neighbourhoods here.

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Landlocked lemonade jerky was the most popular.

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I named it after our local houseboat community

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because we're nowhere near an ocean.

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So Chip and I were ready for a

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lively, interactive gathering at the Community Centre, kind

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of like the writers room meetings I've been

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going to there.

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Or, well, we thought we were organizing that.

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We actually weren't ready for how many people

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turned up.

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But first, a quick break.

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This is Un-Fuck Your Life with Tog

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Chesterfield.

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Un-Fuck Your Life with Tog Chesterfield.

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Back to the show.

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So things really started to go awry after

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the doors opened.

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There was a lineup before the Meet the

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Gazette even started.

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And within 10 minutes, the Community Centre was

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packed.

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The room that I'd rented, it was overflowing

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into the hall and then into the lobby.

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And everyone there was, like, really enthusiastic.

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Yeah, Tog.

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So this is, I remember I was telling

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you about my sports animals.

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So this one is my Kelpie Terrier mix,

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who was really, really good at fly ball.

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Hey, Tog, I want to tell you about

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this.

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So you can see here, this is the

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Grappleton Fly Ball Club.

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And we're at our first meet.

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That actually happens right here.

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Hey, Tog, I wanted to show you my

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recipe box.

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It's a really special thing.

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Yeah, so anyways, the meet happened here.

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And my dog, Spud, that was his name.

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And he actually, I called him my little

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potato.

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Hi, Tog, I wanted to tell you about

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my special recipe collection.

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Yeah, I heard you really, you had something

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that went on with the potatoes.

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That reminded, like, that's why I thought I

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had to tell you about Spud and how

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good Spud was at fly ball.

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Hey, Bud, I got a story about a

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cow I want to share with you.

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I wanted to show you Spud's results.

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This is a result from that same meet,

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from this photo.

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Hey, Buddy, can I show you this set

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of keys that I collect?

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Anyways, yeah, he shot down, down, like, 53

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seconds.

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That was actually really good for us at

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that meet, but at the other meet.

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Yeah, I got a story to tell you.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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So that, that was good for that meet.

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Is the kombucha free?

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We actually practiced a whole bunch, and we

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went to the next meet.

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It was about 10 miles out of town.

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Are you Tog?

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I just want to show you my books,

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please.

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I got a box of books.

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In this random field.

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Tog, I want to show you my show

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collection.

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It was terrible weather.

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I mean, like, you need pretty good, pretty

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dry.

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Do you mind if I have more jerky?

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Anyways, yeah, we got our time down.

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Oh, I should tell you a little story.

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Everyone was so excited to see each other

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and to catch up that right away, the

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volume in the room was far too loud

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to record anything usable.

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And Chip Cross tried really hard at controlling

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the crowd.

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Hey, I was just wondering if you could

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move into the line here to talk to

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Tog.

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Oh, yeah, no, I can, I can take

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your picture.

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Okay, oh, that looks good.

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That looks good.

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Oh, I was wondering if you would mind

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moving over here to talk to Tog.

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Oh, no, yeah, no, I can, I can

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hold your drink.

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Okay.

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Oh, your, your other one.

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Oh, you want the, yeah, I can, I

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can hold your baby for a little, for

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a little while.

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I'm not so good at, do I need

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to talk to it?

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But the creativity of Grackletonians, and I mean,

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you know that I love being creative, it

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was on full display here.

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Several people brought in books of their historical

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photos, collections of artwork, seeds they saved from

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harvest, from plants that aren't grown anywhere else.

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And there was even an ethically taxidermied grackle,

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our town bird.

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Tog, I brought this, this thing here to

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show you.

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Oh, okay.

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I'm actually pretty excited about it.

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Have you heard of the grackle?

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Yeah, the bird, that's a stuff grackle.

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That stuff?

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Named after this, this bird.

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Right, we are, it's a stuffed bird, a

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taxidermy?

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Totally, yes, taxidermy, you're correct.

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Yeah.

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You're correct about that, Tog.

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I consider myself a bit of an enthusiast,

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a little bit of a curious spectator of

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the taxidermy process, the process.

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I don't really, I mean, the grackle's a

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good bird because we're in Grackleton, but I'm

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more of an enthusiast about the process of

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the taxidermy as opposed to the ultimate, what

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it becomes at the end.

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I like the journey more than the destiny,

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you get it, the journey.

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It's all about the journey, not the destination.

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Yeah, so you're into like that, the how

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-to of taxidermy.

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So I like the journey of the taxidermy

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more than the destination, which in this case,

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it's like this output of this grackle, not

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that this isn't a fine specimen of the

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taxidermy process.

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It is a specimen of it, but the

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journey of this one was particularly interesting.

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That might be good for your thing that

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you've got going on here, Tog.

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Tell me more.

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The journey of this was actually an ethical

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taxidermy, an ethical one.

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Oh, ethical.

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Of this bird, the grackle.

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Right.

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First of all, this grackle lived its entire

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lifespan until the very end, and it wasn't

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just that ethical in the sense that it

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lived a full life, this grackle, she did,

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her name's Rosie.

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Oh, that's a nice name.

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Yeah, I like that name too, Tog.

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So Rosie here lived a full, entire, healthy,

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long grackle life.

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Oh, good.

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But you see, Rosie actually gave her consent

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for the taxidermy process to occur after her

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natural demise.

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Oh, how?

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You see, Rosie was able to communicate to

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humans, and it's not like Rosie wasn't a

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talking bird.

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I mean, that's probably the first thing you

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thought, Tog.

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It was.

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You would probably doubt the story, that you

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would doubt that it was accurate.

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But no, Rosie didn't speak in human words,

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nothing of the sort.

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Oh, okay.

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But they taught Rosie to punch down on

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these little cards that had words.

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So you see, I punched down with her

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foot or her beak, and she was able

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to communicate that she agreed, she consented to

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the taxidermy process after her natural demise.

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And Rosie actually specified that it needed to

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be a natural demise.

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If the demise was not of the natural

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sort, Rosie would then revoke her consent to

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the taxidermy process.

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But no, Rosie lived a long life, died

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of natural causes, old age.

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Oh, that's good.

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There was like an autopsy after, just to

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ensure that Rosie's wishes regarding this taxidermy process

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were actually executed correctly.

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So Rosie here is possibly one of the

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first fully ethical taxidermy.

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And as I told you, Tog, it's all

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about the journey, not about the destination.

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Right.

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At least for this story.

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Right.

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So I didn't get any interviews recorded, listener.

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Or, well, none that I could use on

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a new show, or with enough detail to

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put in a new zine, even.

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By the time I would almost manage to

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ask a follow-up question, anyone I was

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talking to was whisked away to someone else,

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or I'd be interrupted by someone else, who

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was excited to show me the thing that

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they'd brought along.

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My meet the Gazette was really a failure

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for what I tried to do, but honestly,

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perhaps it was Grackleton's best ever show and

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tell session.

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Oh, it's time for the weather.

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Tonight's weather for your Dry Lip 5 with

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Un-Fuck Your Life is brought to you

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by Stop and Shop Shop.

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Stop and shop until you drop, unless you

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pop from all that hot pot you brought.

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Oh, shoot.

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Stop and shop until you drop, unless you

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bop from all that hot pot you bought.

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We're next door to Dot's Hot Pot, who

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ought to have caught the top-sot hot

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pot shop spot.

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Get ready for the weather.

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Tonight, Grackleton is expecting a windstorm.

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Don't go near the trees.

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Oh, that's easy.

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You just weren't all about the weather.

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And that's it for the weather on your

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Dry Lip 5 from Stop and Shop Shop.

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Thank God.

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Un-Fuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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So my meet the Gazette event was quickly

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overtaken by the energy, the excitement of people

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seeing each other after only interacting in comment

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threads for so many years.

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In most of the cases, anyway.

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I learned that people really wanted community again,

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just like me.

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The noise level, the conversations, all of it

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made that pretty obvious.

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I heard of book clubs starting and volunteers

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getting organized and regular Zoom meetups being set

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up, too.

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Oh, yeah.

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My roommate, Chip Crest, who helped me, had

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to move out after the event.

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Chip got a job as a security guard

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at the landlocked houseboat community after meeting someone

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who works there.

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We learned that Chip Crest and I aren't

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the best public event managers.

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We would have probably been in overheads at

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a much smaller event, too, to be honest

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with you, listener.

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But the most important thing I learned is

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that the people here, the ones in Grackleton,

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just like me, were really needing to connect

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and share their stories outside of an angry

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comment thread for a newspaper article or something.

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As you all know, connecting like we did

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at that event is what I've been looking

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for here in Grackleton.

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Something in the community, being able to share

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and learn and really help each other.

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But in all of my projects, I really

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jumped off the deep end right away.

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And I think I probably did that again.

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But even though I didn't get any interviews,

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any, well, ones that I could use, I

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did experience how much humans were wanting to

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share a bit about their own history and

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their love for the town.

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So I managed to set up times with

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a few of them to meet at the

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coffee shop when it's not too busy, and

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a couple of people are going to record

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with me remotely.

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So I learned that in this case, and

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probably would have been the case for a

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lot of my other projects, starting a new

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one a little bit slower, like this, is

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better.

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It's probably going to be more sustainable over

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time, too.

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You know, I thought if I had an

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event with food and collected a bunch of

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interviews, I could start with like a really

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impressive zine or a big collection of videos,

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and that it would make me, Tog, the

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person, a little bit more valuable after all

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this time of not succeeding, after losing my

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job.

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Because depression really does make you feel like

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a burden, you know, an expense on the

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world.

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But we aren't.

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Even with my failed event, it had a

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little bit of a positive impact in our

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community.

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But so would just talking to a few

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people, because that conversation might have an impact

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on the same number of people that were

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in that room after they hear it.

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Hi, excuse me, Tog.

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Oh, hello.

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How much?

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Oh, Baxter, I can't really hear you that

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well.

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Oh, I can move a little bit closer.

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Oh, good.

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Yeah.

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I whisper one day a week.

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Excuse me.

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Yeah, Wednesday whisper.

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Oh, but it's not Wednesday.

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No, I know.

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It's actually just a carryover.

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I sometimes do a bit of a carryover.

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A carryover.

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So thank you for putting the towels on

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the end of the bed.

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That was a really nice gesture.

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Oh, thanks.

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I like to do a gesture for, you

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know, coming.

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And then you had them embroidered with my

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name.

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I mean, that was really me, Baxter.

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That's my name.

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Yeah, that's why I got it embroidered.

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That's just nice.

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Oh.

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So I just wanted to ask you, Tog,

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about the fridge situation.

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I saw the note.

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Right.

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You get half the fridge.

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You're a roommate.

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Half the fridge.

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Yeah, I know.

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I understand the note.

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You're really nice and clear.

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I just wanted to know if the note

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still applies now.

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Like, if anything's changed between the time that

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you wrote it and now.

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No, nothing's changed.

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Half and half.

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Okay.

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That's good.

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I'm glad.

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So I would like the doors, though.

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Oh, just the doors.

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Nothing else?

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Yeah, the fridge doors.

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Yeah, no, I get it.

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Just that's not very big.

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Oh, that's okay.

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I'll take whatever percentage is the doors.

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Unless it's over the percentage that I'm allowed.

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No, you're allowed half.

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It's definitely less.

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Oh, good.

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So a smaller percentage is fine.

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Would you like to revise the note?

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No, it should be okay.

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Because this is now a change between the

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time that you wrote it.

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Yeah, no, we both know the rules.

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It's fine.

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Okay, yeah, I guess because we both know.

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All right, well, thank you.

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Talk.

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Oh, no.

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You're paying.

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You're a roommate.

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It's your place, too.

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You don't need to thanks.

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No, just a general high level.

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Thank you.

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Oh, okay.

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Okay, I'll close the door.

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So that's it for this week's episode of

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the show here on 101.7 FM The

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Grack.

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Stay tuned for the lure at six, which

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is Roger Flott's fishing report, which guarantees there

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will not be overestimates about any catch during

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the first half of the show.

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You have been listening to Un-Fuck Your

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Life with Todd Chesterfield, a Stereo Forest production.

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This episode was written, directed, edited, produced, and

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all voices were by Jen DeHaan.

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You can find all show notes and sign

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up to get notified about new episodes on

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StereoForest.com.