10 – Judgement Day for the Grackleton Gazette

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This week on the show, Tog grapples with

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the feedback they received for the first hard

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copy edition of their new zine, The Grackleton

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Gazette.

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You're with Tog Chesterfield here on 101.7

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FM The Grack.

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I'm trying to pick up the pieces and

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fix up my life after I hit rock

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bottom, and I'm taking you along as I

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try new things and attempt to embrace life.

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Unlock your life with Tog Chesterfield.

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Welcome to the show.

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Right now it's 5.06pm. Shoot.

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I'll be here with you for your commute,

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or while you prepare your dinner, or while

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you furtively stare at that patch on your

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carpet that was ruined by your rainbow bridge

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cat, Kevin.

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Oh, seven years ago.

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That you have yet to fix because it

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makes you feel more nostalgic than lazy.

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I'm your uninvited guest for the evening, or

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I guess invited if you chose to dial

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into the show.

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So, listeners, if you've been in any Grackleton

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shops in the past couple weeks, you've probably

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seen the first full hard copy release of

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The Grackleton Gazette.

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It includes my interviews with Marianne Foote and

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Pastel Pumpernickel that you heard on this show.

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And I also wrote a couple community announcements

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and my opinion piece about the rising cost

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of grout at home hardware.

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It was pretty hard-hitting.

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I was so excited to drop off boxes

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of my zines all around town, such as

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at the bulk bins and the Nested Bean

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and Boone's Tackle and Thrift, the Kohl's Bookstore,

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and of course, the Community Center.

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I was really nervous doing it, too, as

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you might imagine.

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But I was also so excited to share

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what I'd been working really hard on for

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so long, what I'd been finally committing myself

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to doing, too.

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Well, for myself, Tog, but also for all

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of you, the people who live and work

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here in Grackleton.

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After I got all the zines out, I

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announced them on my website and Pastel told

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her baking class students and, well, Dan at

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bulk bins.

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It was great.

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He walked them around the store and handed

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them directly to the customers.

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Here, take a Grackleton Gazette.

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No, no, I'm all right, thanks.

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No, take it in your hand.

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Oh, oh, okay.

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Thank you.

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Oh, hi, honey.

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Here, take a Grackleton Gazette.

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No, I'm okay.

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I don't need one.

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Thanks.

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Oh, you're just putting it in my hand,

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okay.

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Here, take a Grackleton Gazette.

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What, what, what, what, what is this?

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No, you have to take a Grackleton Gazette.

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Oh, well, you're just putting it in my

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cart.

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Here, take a Grackleton Gazette.

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I do not want that.

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I'm just going to put it in your

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basket.

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Marianne Foote was great, too.

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She did a little feature on her latest

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episode of Mailbox Decor.

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Marianne was my roommate, well, until last night.

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She had to leave because she finished sponge

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painting her basement.

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It looks great.

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It's dark gray and teal.

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And you wouldn't think it works, but it

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actually does.

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She showed me.

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I also added a thread on the Grackleton's

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subreddit, the one that allows self promos.

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And I just checked the comments on that

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subreddit, and I checked my email obsessively.

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Well, the subreddit had only got two updates

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and no comments, and my inbox sat at

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zero for days.

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And that's kind of how it went for

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that first little bit.

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There was no reaction to my zine from

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any source.

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The copies, though, they were disappearing from the

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shops in the community center.

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I had to refill the box at the

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community center three times.

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Boons at the tackle shop told me that

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some people were returning to pick one up

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for their friends.

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But at first there was nothing.

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A giant gaping void, and that hurt.

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Listener, it hurt a lot.

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All that hard work for nothing?

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At that point, I thought even hate mail

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would be better than the void.

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But then suddenly, the feedback started.

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And it was truly Grackleton in Grackleton's truest

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form.

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But first, a break.

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This is Un-Fuck Your Life with Todd

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Chesterfield.

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That's me.

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We'll be back after this.

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Un-Fuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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Back to the show.

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So, the feedback for the Grackleton Gazette started

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trickling in.

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And then, it became a flood.

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It arrived in my inbox, and comments on

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Reddit and social media.

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Some people called me at my house.

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I got handwritten letters, too.

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And I had notes left in the windshield

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wipers of my Transit Connect.

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I had the side painted with the Grackleton

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Gazette's logo.

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I got some positive and some motivating comments.

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Well, it seems so, anyway.

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I'll email you my phone number to call

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me back.

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Look, it'll be after I hang up the

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phone here.

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The email will come in about...

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Well, let's see.

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It'll take me about four minutes to get

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to my computer from here at the desk.

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At my phone desk.

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And then I'll boot up Netscape Navigator, which

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has my email inside of it.

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That's where I have your email address.

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So, yeah.

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I'll email it to you in about seven

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minutes, give or take.

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I was so excited to hear that people

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liked it.

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But, then I started getting some interesting takes

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from the community.

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Hi.

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Why wasn't the thick raven beak part mentioned

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in the Marianne interview location description?

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Accuracy matters.

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Hi, Tog.

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This is Dan from Bulk Bins.

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Pastel mentioned RPFs in your interview.

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My cousin calls them RFCs, which stands for

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Red Flake Chilies.

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Maybe do a poll so you say what

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terminology most people utilize as part of their

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everyday vernacular.

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Anyways, bye, Tog.

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See you on your next shopping journey.

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And along with the interesting takes, I got

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some pretty hot takes, too.

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...has real issues, like the upcoming vote about

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the portables behind the community center.

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...looks unprofessional.

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I mean, it's okay, but it's no Grackleton

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Weekly Chronicle.

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Where's the hard-hitting news about the water

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main break on 3rd?

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The Weekly Chronicle was so valuable.

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...and this next one?

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This next one hurt the most.

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It came as a letter to my townhouse.

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It read, This just feels like Tog trying

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too hard to be relevant again after the

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apocalypse dot cloud potato thing.

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At that point, listener, I put my laptop

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in the Oh, it's time for the weather.

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Tonight's weather for your drive at 5 with

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Unfuck Your Life is brought to you by

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Deep Dive Reef and Snorkels, your source for

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the latest snorkeling gear.

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But we're still landlocked.

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Tonight, Grackleton is expecting an abundance of moderate

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cloud cover over Grackleton East.

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And that's it for the weather on your

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drive at 5 from Deep Dive Reef and

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Our grand opening is this Saturday at 2

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.30 p.m. Join us for 5%

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off all purge valves until 4 p.m.

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The feedback about my first issue of the

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Grackleton Gazette started living in my head.

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Just like the well, just like the potatoes

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from the potato incident, the way that they

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still do, really.

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My identity was still tied to what I

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did and either losing that or having it

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criticized, it makes me want to hide, to

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sit on the floor of my bedroom in

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the dark.

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I didn't realize that I was so sensitive

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to feedback still.

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How it hit my core identity, that my

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identity was still tied tightly to my creative

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output and productivity.

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I thought that I had moved on.

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I thought I was moving on, away from

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rock bottom by now.

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And if I didn't address it right away,

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I might end up back there again.

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Because sitting on my bedroom floor with my

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favorite comfort potato it sure felt like I

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was back there again right after everything happened

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and I was laid off.

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And I was probably at real risk of

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abandoning the Gazette entirely.

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See it as like some other failure of

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mine.

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Just as I was getting started, I turned

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the Gazette into the next thing to quit

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again.

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So I realized then and there on the

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floor in the dark, I would try to

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process this criticism constructively.

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To sort between the helpful things people said,

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the personal attacks well, criticism, their irrelevant takes,

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and just what was, well just somebody's subjective

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taste.

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It wasn't relevant to me.

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Tog, well none of it was.

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Listener, putting creative work out there just invites

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these kinds of opinions and takes and reception.

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And the human I am, Tog, isn't attached

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to that feedback.

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And universal approval?

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I mean, I'll never get it anyway on

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anything creative when we don't get universal approval

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for anything in this world.

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And being this hard on myself, it wasn't

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fair to myself, to Tog.

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So just like I wrote an apology letter

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near the beginning of my journey off of

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Rock Bottom, to Louis Pepperoni of the HOA,

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and to the Super Appreciation Club, the letters

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that I shared with you on this show,

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I wrote an apology letter to myself, to

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Tog.

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Dear Tog, hi.

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I'm very sorry about being so harsh in

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your head about the work you're doing on

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the Grackleton Gazette.

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You're new at this.

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Give yourself a chance.

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Tog, Chesterfield.

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So the Gazette, the first hard copy edition,

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even if it wasn't perfect or even as

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good as I thought it might be, that

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didn't matter.

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And it made me stronger doing it.

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So I got up off the floor.

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I put a note on the fridge that

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said, Feedback is for the Gazette.

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It's not for Tog.

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Tog!

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Gazette.

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That means Tog is not the Gazette.

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It's like programming speak.

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I learned that at apocalypse.cloud. I also

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wrote a second post-it note about why

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I started the Gazette.

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I wrote goals and under that I wrote

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to connect this quirky community.

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I wrote it just in case something made

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me forget so I could look at that

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too.

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I sorted through the useful feedback, the stuff

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I could think about, and the irrelevant complaints

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that I could just throw into the garbage.

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But I did run that poll about RPFs

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versus RFCs because I just wanted to know

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what terminology most people used and if I

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should switch for science.

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Oh, I have a caller here on line

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one.

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My first caller to the show.

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Hi, caller.

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You're on the show.

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This is Un-Fuck Your Life with Tog

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Chesterfield.

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Hey, Tog.

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It's your roommate.

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Parker.

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Parker Spoon.

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Oh, Parker.

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Oh, you're calling the show.

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Yeah, I'm in the apartment, but I didn't

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want to bother you because I know that

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you're in your studio right now.

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Oh, so you're right in.

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You're still at home.

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Wow, most of my roommates just walk right

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in.

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No, you're doing a regular show.

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This has got to be a big deal.

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Oh, wow.

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Well, anyways, welcome to the show and welcome

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to the house.

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I'm glad that you moved in.

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Can I be calling in on this?

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Is this bad?

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No, that's fine.

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I saw the number written by the SodaStream

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and I didn't know if it was okay

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to call.

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Oh, no, it's perfectly fine.

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Can I use the SodaStream?

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Yeah, you can use the SodaStream and did

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you get my note about the fridge?

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Yeah, I'm sorry.

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I don't want to pry, but there's a

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lot of potatoes.

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Oh, yeah.

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A lot.

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Just don't touch the potatoes, but you can

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have half the fridge, whatever half you want,

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wherever you want to put your stuff.

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Do you need any help with the potatoes?

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I can come after I finish broadcasting and

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just move the potatoes for you.

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Oh, okay.

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I only have a couple things of smoothies

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to put in the fridge.

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Oh, you're a smoothie person.

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I'm trying to be better.

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Yeah, they're pretty healthy, aren't they?

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Yeah, I got to stay healthy for my

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kitty cat.

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Oh, you have a cat?

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Yeah.

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Oh, I'm sorry.

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I thought I told you about Scott.

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Yeah, Scott's moving.

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Unless you don't like cats.

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No, I love cats.

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I used to have a cat named Kevin.

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Oh, my gosh.

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Kevin and Scott.

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Kevin's a Rainbow Bridge cat now, but I

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love cats.

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I'm so excited that Scott's coming to live

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here, too.

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Scott's a handful, but it's always been me

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and Scott.

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Oh, the best cats are a handful.

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Kevin was a handful, too.

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Can I ask you a question?

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I noticed there was a towel that said

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PS on it.

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Oh, you got the towels.

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That's for you.

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I always do monogrammed towels for my roommates

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when they move in to make them feel

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welcome.

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Oh, my gosh.

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That's so nice of you.

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Can I ask you a weird question?

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Of course.

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Is that a Camino stitch that you did

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the monogram with?

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Yes, it is.

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I just learned how to do that from

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Marianne, my last roommate.

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My mom, Melinda, was the head seamstress at

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the Crackleton Shirt Factory.

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That's incredible.

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I got all my shirts from there.

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It's amazing because when I was a kid,

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I used to walk around and I used

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to see her do the Camino stitch all

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the time.

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Wow.

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Maybe that's where Marianne learned how to do

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it.

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Oh, that place is magical.

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She used to let me walk all through

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the different t-shirts, all the different colors.

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It was like the Lion, the Witch, and

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the Wardrobe, except instead of emerging in Narnia,

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you walked right into a chemical bath.

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Oh, that sounds kind of painful, actually.

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Hey, the scars heal.

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Yeah, they do.

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They do, don't they?

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I gotta go.

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Headlight News is on.

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Oh, I love watching that.

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I'll come join you after I'm finished broadcasting

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the show.

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Okay.

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Bye.

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Bye, Parker.

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So that's it for this week's episode of

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the show here on 101.7 FM The

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Crack.

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Stay tuned for Municipal Water Quality Report Redo

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at 6 with Bartholomew Bardibondle, formerly of the

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Weekly Chronicle.

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Huh, you should all like that.

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For a show that details Bardi's improvements to

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the latest local municipal water quality reports.

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Huh, okay.

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You have been listening to Un-Fuck Your

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Life with Todd Chesterfield, a Stereo Forest production.

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This episode was written, directed, edited, and produced

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by Jenda Hahn.

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This episode features the voices of Adam, Dawn

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Fawcett, and Jenda Hahn.

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You can find all of our shows, show

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notes, transcripts, and sign up to get notified

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about new episodes at StereoForest.com