11 – Opening the Young Tog Box

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This week on the show,

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Tog and Parker Spoon discover a box filled with Tog's past.

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Tog learns why the potato incident and leaving

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Apocalypse.Cloud directly led to their rock bottom.

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You're with Tog Chesterfield here on 101.7 FM The Grack.

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I'm trying to pick up the pieces and fix up

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my life after I hit rock bottom.

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And I'm taking you along as I try new things

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to try to figure out my life.

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I fuck your life with Tog Chesterfield.

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Welcome to the show.

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Right now it's 5 p.m. and 30 seconds.

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I'll be with you here for your commute

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or while you prepare your dinner or while you figure out

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how to assemble your new dining room chair set.

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I'm your uninvited guest for the evening.

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I guess invited if you chose to listen to the show

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and it didn't find you randomly.

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Tonight you'll join me as I go through a box

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that turns out to be a bit of a memory lane.

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And I'm not talking about the clothes shop

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selling jaunty midlife frocks

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on Speckle Street in East Grack.

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So last episode you heard all about

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the feedback I received from the first hard copy edition

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of the Grackleton Gazette.

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I took it so personally until I learned

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how to categorize the feedback into what was useful

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and what I could toss out and disregard.

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I learned how to not take things personally

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and how to not identify myself as the Gazette.

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And I could tell that some of you heard that show

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because many of you started making suggestions

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in your feedback about how I could file it.

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Helpful or attack or irrelevant take or subjective taste.

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Please, spicy gherkins on page three

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of your Grackleton Gazette.

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The spicy foods, they really give me the indigestion.

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It's awful.

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I think you can add this to your,

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your feedbacks are all of a take category, I think.

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Anyways, see you, talk.

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And listener, I had to do that about my own life too.

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I should explain.

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My newest roommate, Parker Spoon,

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helped me clean out my hallway closet

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because he's going to use it for his cat's supplies.

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Parker's cat's name is Scott.

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I really like that name.

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And I like Scott because Scott reminds me of Kevin.

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Scott's a really nice cat.

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We found a box in the hallway closet

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that I had forgotten all about.

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I moved it from my last place in Outer Grack

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and stuck it in the hallway closet right away, I guess.

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I had a bunch of essays from university

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and some art projects from high school,

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some cassette tapes from middle school,

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and luckily I had my old tape deck in there too.

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Welcome back to the Grack Middle Radio Hour.

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It's time for our newest segment, One Punch or Two.

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Our best guess at whether a side dish in the cafeteria

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will cost one or two punches on our punch card.

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Okay, let's start with a side of pepper gravy.

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Brenda Voss, what do you think?

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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That one never got on the air,

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so I guess I don't know what counts.

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Oh, and Brenda Blouse is writing a regular column

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for the Grackleton Gazette now

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on her independent crime sleuthing.

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I think you'll really like it, listener.

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Anyway, I found my university application essay too,

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where I wrote about my idea for a new space in Grackleton.

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Okay, let's see.

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I really want to open up a new space in Grackleton West.

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For the community.

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Where people can share their own stories

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of themselves and this town.

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Not like a standup comedy club,

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and not an art gallery,

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but something in between those two things.

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And there would be a mashed potato bar

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with at least seven different types of pepper gravy.

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Brenda, Brenda Blouse, what do you think?

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Food brings people together.

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I found some letters I wrote

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as part of a creative writing project

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in a club I was in during high school too.

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They were letters to myself.

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I'll read you one.

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This one right here.

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Dear Todd, hi.

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Remember that in order to like yourself,

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you need to like your life

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and the things that you do.

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And if you like your life

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because you value the way you spend your time,

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other people can't take that away from you.

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From Todd Chesterfield, grade 10.

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So why did I start filing helpful or a tat,

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irrelevant take or subjective taste for my own life?

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And does it involve potatoes?

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We'll be right back after a quick break,

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and I'll tell you then.

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This is Unfuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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Unfuck your life with Todd Chesterfield.

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Back to the show.

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So when I was at apocalypse.cloud,

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I was so excited to take on the social media efforts

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because I thought, well, it's social.

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I'll be able to connect

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with the apocalypse.cloud community

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and maybe help some people in some way,

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even if it's just about the work

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that they have to do.

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So I plan to make new friends

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with all the very smart people who work there,

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who all seemed kind of like me.

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And then we ate together,

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and some of us went to the fitness center classes together,

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and we shared ideas and stories over coffee on breaks.

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And I thought I did make friends.

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At least it felt that way.

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It really did.

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We were doing all these things outside of work.

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And they talk about work friends and real friends,

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but I really thought they were both because of that.

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I did stuff with some of their families.

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I went to their Thanksgiving dinners.

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But when I called after the potato incident and my layoff,

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most people, they didn't even call or text back.

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And the ones who did were too busy

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for lunch or dinner or class or anything.

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I even, I ran into one of my old teammates

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at the farmer's market with my vegan jerky.

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Yeah, so I just started selling this vegan jerky.

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Oh, cool.

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So what do you like do now?

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Well, this.

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No, like what do you really do though?

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Like for work?

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This.

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Oh.

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And all of this, listener, it's okay.

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I mean, this is life.

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Maybe some of you are even listening to this

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who used to work with me and I'm okay with it.

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Transactional friendships are, they're pretty common

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and many people are okay with them.

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Many people don't even realize that they're in them,

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even when they're over.

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But it simply wasn't really how I wanted to spend my life.

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My life.

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And that's okay too.

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I didn't want to need to be useful to people anymore

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or be able to do something for them

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to have them stick around.

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I kind of wanted them to be there

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because they want to tog the person in their life

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and not see how useful I am

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or have to guess if I'm not useful to them anymore.

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I just wanted both of us to feel the same way,

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to want the person,

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no matter what we really give each other

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other than friendship.

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And I noticed that after I had to end some of my businesses,

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like the vegan jerky one,

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those new friends were calling back.

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Dan from Bulk Bins and I do live action role play together

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on Saturday mornings at Thick Raven Beak Park.

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But the box Parker and I found in the closet,

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the young tog box,

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that reminded me that I had priorities like this

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when I was young.

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Definitions of success.

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Before I got to apocalypse.cloud,

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this box was reminding me of them,

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it was teaching me about myself.

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And it taught me that while I was working

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at apocalypse.cloud,

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all of my definitions had changed.

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I want to make sure that even if the work I end up doing

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is hard or stressful,

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or maybe I don't like it all the time,

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or it barely pays the bills,

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I want to make sure that that work matters to me.

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I think that a big part of what makes us happy as humans

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is that.

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And that kind of happy can't be taken away.

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No matter what anyone does,

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no matter what anyone says,

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no matter what happens,

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even if they don't like the mashed potato bar,

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the flavors of gravy that day.

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So when the potato incident happened at apocalypse.cloud,

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that incident destroyed me.

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In ways that I didn't expect.

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But it was because I let my priorities change.

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I turned the work into me.

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So that incident was me.

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I was the potato incident.

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I was the problem.

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And shortly after when everything disappeared,

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my work and even the people I thought were friends,

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and I wasn't deemed useful by any place or anyone,

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and I sat alone on that couch with Kevin's pee stains.

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Well, listener, I think that's why I hit rock bottom.

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I wasn't Tog anymore.

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I didn't have my own values anymore.

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And I definitely listened to the irrelevant takes

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and personal attacks on the potatoes as hot takes on Tog.

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But everything I tried on my way off of rock bottom,

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the things that I told you about in all these shows

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from the Sourdough Starter Company

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to the Grackleton Gazette,

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all of that was me coming back

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to what was important to Tog.

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It brought me back to what I was looking for

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when I was young.

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The things in that box.

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I guess the things that were still in me after all.

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Oh, shoot, it's time for the weather.

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♪ I'm drivin' ♪

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Tonight's weather for your drive at five

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with Un-Fuck Your Life is brought to you

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by Doreen's Olive Hollow,

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where we stuff that olive's hollow

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with everything and anything,

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as long as it isn't a pimiento.

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Okay.

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♪ Get ready for the weather ♪

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Tonight, Grackleton is expecting a sunset at 8.04 p.m.

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That's not the weather though.

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Oh, oh, it will be overcast at 8.04 p.m.

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♪ You just learned all about the weather ♪

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And that's it for the weather on your drive at five

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from Doreen's Olive Hollow.

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Pimiento enthusiasts are not welcome here.

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If you like pimientos,

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you'll be sent to Shane's Olive Shack instead,

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where they prefer and condone

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the vile and off-putting pimiento.

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Is this an attack ad?

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♪ Un-fuck your life with Tog Chesterfield ♪

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♪ Un-fuck your life with Tog Chesterfield ♪

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So listener, I understood what I valued when I was young,

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and I forgot it when I was working in my career.

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And for a while there, I let the hardship win.

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I let sitting on the couch win.

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And when it seemed like the whole world was telling me

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I didn't have any value left, I believed it.

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But eventually, I faced that thing

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I thought the world was telling me,

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and I realized it was kind of a lie.

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Just like when my brain was telling me lies

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about all that feedback I was getting

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about the Grackleton Gazette

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that I told you about last show.

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Oh, this feedback is all you.

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You, Tog, it's you.

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I mean, what are the emails?

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So, listener, one of the messages

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I got about the Gazette, it said,

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Oh, Tog, Dennis, Dennis here.

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You know, you know, Tog, that might be true.

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Actually, I would do something a lot better than this.

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It sounded kind of mean, but I realized something.

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If I had a year left,

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the Grackleton Gazette is what I would do.

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And I wouldn't be at apocalypse.cloud

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if I didn't have time left.

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I don't want to get to old age or even next year

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and look back and realize that I didn't really like my job,

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I didn't like my life, and no one cared about Tog.

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Just what I could do for them

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when I happened to be around, I guess.

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Being productive is choosing to move on.

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It's wanting to do the thing

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and then to spend your time doing that thing.

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You might not get to make this choice for everything,

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I know that, but you sure can make it

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for a lot of the things in your life.

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And if that's true, that part at least,

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you own your life instead of the other way around.

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Actually, I should probably tell all of you

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about the potato incident now.

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Oh, oh, line one is ringing again.

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Okay, I'm just gonna answer it here.

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Hello, caller, you're on the air with Fuck Your Life

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with Tog Chesterfield.

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Hey, Tog, it's Parker.

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Oh, Parker, Parker, are you here at home?

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I'm next door, I didn't know if I should come in

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or if I, I didn't want to bother you, you know.

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That's right, you're the only conscientious roommate

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that I've had, no offense to my prior roommates.

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Nice to hear you, welcome to the show.

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Oh, we're, oh, good, oh, hi, everybody.

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I feel like I'm famous now.

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Well, famous in Grackleton.

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Yeah, I had fun, I just wanted to stop by

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because I had just come home and I would tell you,

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I had fun cleaning out the closet, that was amazing.

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My goodness, thank you so much for your help, Parker.

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I mean, that was a big job and a lot of clearing out.

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I didn't realize I'd kept so many things.

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I don't know, the old bottle of Goldschlager that we found.

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That was crazy.

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That was, that was pretty wild.

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I know, I know, I mean, it was mostly dehydrated,

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but, you know, it's been a lot of years.

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It has little pieces of gold.

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I was thinking about turning it

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into like a golden henna tattoo, a little side, I know.

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That is such a good idea, you should do it, yeah.

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I kind of did.

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You did?

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Yeah, I'm gonna need your help when I get out.

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When you get out, I used the super glue you had

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and I poured the Goldschlager on top of it.

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There was still a little bit of liquid

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and I think that the alcohol and the gold

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must have had some kind of a reaction

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because there's a symbol now glowing on my hand.

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Oh my goodness, well, what does the symbol look like?

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It looks like a rune,

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but it could just be the way that the super glue hit my hand.

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Yeah, well that, I mean, I'm hoping

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that the super glue wasn't all that toxic.

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It's okay, I mean, it only hurts a little.

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Seven out of 10.

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Yeah, seven out of 10.

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Parker, you seem very used to a lot of pain.

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Yeah, no, I'm good.

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I'm constantly, you know, when your dad owned a pencil factory,

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you're used to getting a little bit of lead in your fingers.

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A little bit of lead in your fingers, oh wow.

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Listen, I just wanted to tell you that Scott loves it here.

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Yeah, I love Scott being here.

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He told me the other day that it was perfect.

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I just, I got that because he's a cat and it's like a pun.

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I like a good pun.

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He didn't really say that.

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Oh, really?

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He can't speak, he's a cat.

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Right, yes, of course.

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I just wanted to tell you.

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So, but I was trying to tell you that I think it's perfect.

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Oh, I see.

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Yeah, thank you for clarifying.

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I take things pretty literally a lot of the time.

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No, no, no, that is okay.

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And I don't know how to say this.

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I hope it's not overstepping bounds, but I...

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Okay, Parker, just say it.

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I'd like to sign a one-year lease.

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Wow.

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You don't have to.

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No, no, I would.

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I mean, I've just never had a roommate that's stayed more than two weeks in a row.

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And I mean, I was already so excited that you're still here.

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And I just, a whole year, a whole year here with me.

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I mean, yeah, I'm not leaving Crackleton anytime soon.

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Crackleton's great.

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Yeah, I would, Parker, I would love that.

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I will absolutely draw up the papers for a one-year lease.

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I'm so excited.

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And you and Scott living here, that's going to be great.

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That's amazing.

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Okay, I'm going to run.

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I'm going to get my VCR out of storage.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah, I thought we could watch...

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There was a film from the late 80s called Mixed Nuts with Michael Keaton.

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I've heard a great thing.

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I've heard of it, but I've never watched it.

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It's amazing.

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Parker, would you mind if I maybe, I made some mashed potatoes with pepper gravy for

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eating while watching Mixed Nuts?

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You are speaking my language, Tuhake.

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When I was young, when I went over to my grandmother's house, we used to have solstice

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parties, and she would put on Columbo and make mashed potatoes with pepper gravy.

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And I used to sneak some of my grandfather's pipe tobacco, mix it into the mashed potatoes.

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I don't do it anymore.

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Yeah, that would be a little bit sacrilegious.

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Yeah, but I would, it sounds perfect.

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Oh, that's wonderful.

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And if you'd like, you can help me with the potatoes.

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You could touch the potatoes and help me prepare the potatoes if you'd like.

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But you said I couldn't touch the potatoes.

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Yeah, but you know what, Parker?

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I would be fine with you helping me with the potatoes and touching them.

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I'm going to go get my VCR.

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Okay.

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I don't even know what to do.

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Okay.

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I'll see you in like half an hour.

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Okay, in a half an hour.

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Bye, Parker.

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I'll meet you in the kitchen.

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Bye.

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Okay.

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Bye.

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So that's all the time we have for this week's episode of the show here on 101.7 FM The Grack.

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I'll have to tell you about the potato incident next show.

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But first, stay tuned for the Gumboots and, oh no, Gumboots plus Shorts show.

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Marion Dunk and Richard Dunkton share fashion advice appropriate for

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when you're not too sure what season it is.

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Oh, well, I'd wear that any time of year.

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You have been listening to Unfuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield, a Stereo Forest production.

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This episode was written, directed, edited, and produced by Janda Han.

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This episode features the voices of Adam, Don Fawcett, and Janda Han.

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You can find all of our shows, show notes, transcripts,

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and sign up to get notified about new episodes at StereoForest.com.