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You might have heard advice to beat being camera shy like

"fake it till you make it" or "fake it till you are it."

But I prefer another approach to understand the why behind

so many of us feeling this way,

and then build a practical step-by-step path to

desensitize yourself to the camera.

And that's what we'll do today in this episode. For many

small business owners and entrepreneurs

and educators and consultants, having a visible online

presence is not really optional anymore.

It's how we find our leads, it's how we connect to our

audience, it's how we build a brand and

build trust. Being engaging, educating, or entertaining

on camera can be a direct path

to growth in these things. But knowing that doesn't make it

any easier to press record

and publish your work. The moment you do, that anxiety can

kick in. You might get apprehensive,

you might get really stuck in your head making decisions,

maybe it's your self-critic that gets

really, really loud. And then suddenly you don't seem like

any version of your real self on the

screen or in your ears. And it's really hard to connect as a

human when you're really anxious.

And if that sounds familiar, I want to tell you two things.

First of all, you're not alone.

This is a completely natural human response to recording

ourselves on a screen. The root of

this anxiety is often social. And understanding why

that's the case is really important for managing

that anxiety. So I'm going to break down the science of that

anxiety, and then I'm going to give you

a really practical step-by-step plan to gradually build

your on-camera skills, starting from wherever

you are right now today. Hi, I'm Jen deHaan, and this is the

Human Internet Theory. In these episodes,

you'll learn different ways to communicate and connect as

a human on a very crowded internet

filled with generated content that's growing more and

more every single day. I have a degree in

education. I went to film school, and I've been working in

tech for decades and more recently

in comedy and performance. And I'm sharing everything

I've learned from all of those things

in this show. And by the end of this episode today, you'll

learn what your audience is most

likely actually thinking when they watch your videos or

hear your podcast or whatever you're

making. And I'm going to guess that your inner critic might

disagree with what I have to say.

So let's see. So before we get to a plan to get comfortable on

camera, we need to first understand

how our brains work and what's making this thing so hard.

And knowing how this works

is what makes overcoming it possible. So glossophobia is

the fear of public speaking.

And a study found that about 60% of people experience this

kind of fear. So if you feel

fear about being seen and heard and perceived, you're in

very good company. I'm right there with you.

But why? It's not likely that a camera or a microphone is

like threatening on its own. I

hope not. The reason is that for most of human history,

social rejection was really dangerous.

We needed our social community to help us survive too, to

find access to food and water,

to help, to protection from the bears and stuff. Our brains

are therefore wired with a sensitivity

for social judgment. So some of us, some more than others,

might experience this even more,

depending on what our lived experience is like. So here we

have a potentially massive,

unseen audience out there. I mean, if things go well, it's

massive, but I mean, it's not going

to be yet. Anyways, our brain wiring is just not built or

used to this thing called the internet.

So it doesn't differentiate between, say, a social

community trying to find food and fend off

bears and a YouTube comment section. It just says like,

hell no to all of that. In addition to that

brain wiring, we layer on more and more on top of it, like

imposter syndrome, for example, which is

basically that feeling that you're a fraud and you're

going to be found out. Like you start

thinking, who am I to be teaching this? Why would anybody

listen to me or get my thing?

I'm just starting this show so you can probably guess where

my brain is at right now. And all of

these layers can feel completely overwhelming,

especially in front of the lens. The stories

that we tell ourselves can be pretty intense. And that

might even stop us from even starting

putting out anything in the first place. And then if we do

manage to start, we often become

obsessed with trying to look and speak perfectly. And this

can lead to performances that end up

feeling like really stiff and forced and completely

unnatural because you're totally in your head.

And we believe all these things going around our head about

us in the moment, like say when

we're staring at that little blue light when we're in an

empty room while we're recording or we're

editing that footage afterwards. And that self critic

might say, see, I told you, you're really

bad at this thing. So we need to break that loop. And getting

comfortable on camera is important

because its purpose is to let your true human self come

through the internet tube so you can

connect and engage human to human and deliver that value

more effectively. And how you naturally

engage in a way that most closely represents who you are

human to human will help you stand out

amongst a bunch of generated bot traffic content, things

that the robots are making.

So how do we do that? The core principle is

desensitization. It's similar to like exposure

therapy in a way. The more that you expose yourself to that

thing that feels really intimidating to

you in a controlled and premeditated way, the less power

that thing has over your brain.

So recording on camera is a learned skill, just like most

things that we do in life. And that

learned skill will improve with repetition or reps. And

the really important thing here is to

start small and gradually increase the complexity. So you

need your own personalized plan that's

right for you to allow you to iterate and build upon this

learned skill. And here's what that plan

might look like. So first, figure out your starting point.

Where are you right now when it comes to

this skill? If being on camera at all is terrifying or you

haven't ever done it before, you won't

want to start with like a 20 minute YouTube video. So start

on Zoom, for example. There are tons of

free online meetups and book clubs or networking groups

where you can just practice being on camera

in a really low key, low stakes environment. You could even

join an online improv class or jam

session. Maybe that's your next step after that. It's like

improv is especially good to practice

if your goal is to eventually do, say, live webinars or live

streams or other forms of

education in person too. And if you're used to recording

yourself, but say not posting on the

internet, you might want to start there. Use your phone to

record really short, informal chats to the

camera that really nobody will probably ever see. And

you're just doing that to get used to the

feeling of it. And once you're ready to actually post

something, you can opt to start with platforms

where say the content has a short lifespan. You could

create a new account without your name on

it just for practice. So nobody really finds it. Nobody

that you know. For example, Instagram or

Facebook stories that disappear in 24 hours or even TikTok

or YouTube shorts where the content

cycle moves so incredibly fast that your video is only in

the feed for a really short period of

time amongst so many other things. So short or

disappearing videos or these ones that just move

so fast. All of this really lowers the stakes of what you're

doing. These are good starting points.

Now from there, you can build up or you can find new ways to

get your reps in. Maybe your next step

is to focus on your voice, say for longer faceless videos.

Those are where you only use your voice

like you put the slides or the screen recordings over top.

This lets you practice your scripting

and your voice delivery without the added pressure of your

face and less equipment too if that's an

issue. And a podcast is another way of practicing this and

you often start with no listeners for

quite some time on a podcast. And while you're doing all of

these steps, you'll probably also be

editing your work and getting used to seeing and hearing

yourself on camera during the editing

process. That's another step as well. So the most

important part of this process is to get

comfortable with each step before moving on to the next

one. And you have to plan to be

incredibly forgiving with yourself during this. You are

learning a new skill. So there are going

to be setbacks. There are going to be plateaus where you

feel like you aren't improving and these

are all normal parts of the process and things to plan for so

you don't get those setbacks or

discouraged. I didn't consider any of this when I first

started out with video and I really wish I

had because I probably set myself back for a while. I was

encouraged to record some choreography I did

for dance fitness classes I was teaching and then share

that choreography. And one of the only ways

I could do that was on YouTube because of music licensing

restrictions. Now dancing on camera and

having it live online is certainly not a good place to start

when you're not comfortable with being

filmed at all. So I gave up pretty quickly. I think I did

three videos because it was just too much.

And a year or two later when I started using the camera on

Zoom meetings during online improv I was

really uncomfortable again especially if those things

were recorded because even though I had

performed on stage for many, many years in front of large

crowds I was so uncomfortable with a camera

involved. But I stuck with it and those classes on camera

eventually really helped me get comfortable

with the lens and recording them and putting stuff online.

And there's one more thing that's

particularly true now in the age of AI and massive amounts

of content creation competing

with that generated content. Things move very, very fast.

Yes, you want your published work to be

good and memorable but one mediocre video is not going to

ruin your business forever. Even if you

have a lot of followers, the internet has a very short

memory. So the pressure to be perfect is

really an internal thing for all of us to kind of get over. So

if you're finding this video useful

you might also find my newsletter useful as well. You can

subscribe for the free newsletter and I

will send you additional resources to your inbox. You can

sign yourself up at humaninternettheory.com.

So the path forward is understand the fear and then figure

out some manageable steps to

incrementally make things a bit harder for yourself

wherever you are. And that anxiety you feel when

the camera turns on is a part of the brain that has evolved to

keep you safe within a social group,

to work together, to survive, to hunt, to gather food.

That's really not relevant here. So it's not

relevant if you're trying to put content online for your

business or educate your students. And by

understanding that you can start to acknowledge the

anxiety so it doesn't control you anymore and

you can get started. And then you can build a practical and

gradual plan that involves starting

small, getting those reps in, learning, iterating, and

most importantly being kind to yourself along

the way. So now that question, what is the audience really

thinking when they watch your videos?

Now your inner critic might think that everyone is

watching intensely focused and they might

see all of your mistakes, all of those things that you

perceive as mistakes, like the weird

hand gestures I've been doing or that I do too many of them or

some words that you stumbled on or

my hair. But think about why you stayed here to the end. The

audience is much more focused on

themselves and what they get from the video than they are on

you. They click the thumbnail because

they thought, "What is in this video for me?" And they

continue watching your video because they want

to know what value they're going to get from your work. Is it

something useful for something that

the audience is working on? What are you working on? Is this

useful for that? Will it save you some

time at work so you can walk your dog more? Will it solve a

problem? Is it interesting or entertaining?

One of those reasons is probably why you're here still. At

least it's a lot more important than

my hair or glasses, which I mean they're not great, but

whatever. It's the value, right? And that is

what determines what they you return to someone's content

or listen to them again or buy something

that they're offering or whatever it is. As long as you are

providing that value, that you are solving

a problem, your audience is going to be very forgiving of

any imperfections or they're not

even going to notice them. And really if there are those

imperfections, they're often what make you

relatable and human. And that's what we're here for. So

shift your focus from yourself to your

audience. Focus on the value that you're giving your

audience. Thanks for tuning in. That's all I

have for today. Bye for now. Episodes are written,

directed, edited, and produced by

Jen deHaan at StereoForest.com

Find out more about this podcast and join our free

newsletter for additional resources

at humaninternettheory.com. Find additional videos at

the YouTube channel called Human Internet

Theory. Links are also in the show notes.